


message not delivered

by watergator



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Breakups, Cheating, College, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Lance Angst, Langst, M/M, Makeups, Sequel, Unknown Number, Voltron, klangst, vld
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-29
Updated: 2018-03-06
Packaged: 2018-11-06 11:49:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 19,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11035608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/watergator/pseuds/watergator
Summary: sequel to 'unknown number'its been a year since lance and keith got together over text messages, but with the stress of college will the two be able to fix their already crumbling relationship? and for what cost?





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i decided to write a sequel for my previous fic, unknown number, since so many of you enjoyed it so much!! 
> 
> so enjoy!!

Lances eyes traced the lines of his essay for what felt like the billionth time. The dull light that his desk lamp was offering was not nearly enough to keep his eyes from getting tired as it got deeper into the night - not that the boy realised.  
It wasn’t until a pair of arms wrapped themselves around his waist that he blinked, not at all surprised from the touch from behind, his sleep deprived body practically melting into the hold,

“Lance?” a familiar soft voice spoke from behind where he sat, “C’mon, come to bed” he whispered gently, the tickle of hot breath against the skin of his neck sending a shiver down his spine.

“Mmm busy” Lance slurred back, desperately wanting to slither back under the warmth in his bed with his boyfriend, but his stupid essay had him grounded here at his cold desk.

“Its three in the morning,” Keith protested, tugging slightly at the other boys waist, “you can finish this in the morning” 

Lance sighed inwardly, his vision blurring from the strain. It would be easier just to go to bed in the arms of Keith, forgetting his work until the morning. 

And right now, with Keith's head resting in the crook of his neck, homework seemed a million miles away.

The brown haired boy complied as he rose from his seat, being practically dragged by the boy, lazily tugging his shirt over his head, giggling slightly when it got stuck around his head, and Keith made sure to remove his jeans and socks.

Soon he was curled up in Keith's arms, head resting on his chest, mimicking his own heartbeat, something that always helped him fall into a comfortable sleep.

And thats what it was. Comfortable.

At least that was what it used to be.

A year ago Keith and Lance were nothing but numbers on each other’s phone. They never knew that that first text, bitching about Iverson, would lead to them falling head over heels in love.  
It wasn’t easy though, with the constant arguments they had, but they put that behind them and Lance somehow convinced Keith to move into his dorm with him, and ever since then, it was a whirlwind romance. 

Until things went south.

It had been three months since that three am night, it wasn’t the first time Keith had pulled lance away from homework to come sleep, it became a regular thing for Keith to awake to a cold empty bed, the small light from the corner of the room making something heavy settle in his heart. It was no secret that Lance was struggling with college.  
And that sadly seemed the beginning of their problems.

The two boys sat at their table, the cafeteria was pretty empty, only because Lance had woken late and it took half an hour of persuading from Keith to get his boyfriend to eat breakfast. 

They silently munched on their toast, until Keith swallowed,  
“Did you sleep much last night?” he asked, eyes not meeting his, 

He heard Lance take another bite of his food,  
“Kinda” he spoke, food still in his mouth in the midst of being chewed,

Keith held back a sigh that built up in him, he hated it when Lance was vague, it was hard to talk to him when he acted like this.  
But instead of voicing his thoughts, he left the tension that sat between them, until his phone buzzed on the table and left for his class, pressing a kiss into Lance's hair, the other boy mumbling something along the lines of goodbye before his attention went back to the game on his phone.

And that’s how most mornings went.

The days would end with Keith coming back to their room where they would once stumble through the door, hands all over each other, hot breath on one another’s body, those small smiles between kisses that they both loved. And now it was nothing but a room with four walls, where Keith would fall asleep alone, and Lance would exhaust himself over paperwork late into the night, the two hardly passing glances. 

It was a Saturday morning, and again, Keith awoke to find one side of the bed empty and cold. he rolled over, his face sinking into the pillow as sleep clung onto his body like a leach.  
He rolled again, so his back was against the cool of the sheets. He blinked blearily when he realised the small light was still glowing from the corner of the room. 

Lances slumped figure implied that the boy had passed out sometime last night. Keith peeled back the blanket, tip toeing over to the sleeping boy. At first he didn’t know if he should perhaps wake him up, but this was the first time he had seen him sleep in weeks, so he bravely scooped him up in his arms, walking the two foot walk back to the bed, settling him down gently when he started to stir.

“Hey shh” Keith cooed, running a hand through the brunette hair, “its okay, its okay” he said in a hushed tone, and soon, he was back in a deep slumber.  
Keith glanced at the clock that stood on the bedside table, flashing 9:00am.  
The black haired boy pondered if he should perhaps head to the library like he’d planned, but something made him change his mind, and quickly he was slipping back into bed, arms curling protectively around lance just like he used to, a smile shamelessly creeping onto his lips.

Maybe things wouldn’t be so bad after all.

Maybe.


	2. Chapter 2

Keith half expected to wake up Lance curled by his side, the steady rise and fall of the chest against his.   
But then he remembered, and using an elbow to push himself up where he lay, his eyes found Lance at his usual spot.

“Why didn’t you wake me up last night?” Lance spoke without even turning around, startling Keith slightly,

“Babe, it was the middle of the night” Keith said in a breathy half laugh.

There was a beat of silence, before Lance spoke again, his voice lower this time,

“Next time wake me up, you know how important this is to me” 

Keith blinked, watching Lance hunched over his desk, noticing the few cans of various energy drinks scattered around him.  
He breathed out and glanced at the clock, it was only 12.  
Lance had gotten two hours of total sleep.

“Lance” he said, a little more sternly this time, but Lance didn’t look up or look round,

“Lance look at me” he sighed impatiently 

“Keith please I'm busy!” Lance spat back, slamming his pencil back against the wood.

“Lance” Keith spoke again and this time Lance swivelled around to face him.

Keith could barely see in the dim morning light, but the dark circles under his normally blue eyes were visible from where he lay, the worry lines seemed to be trailing over his face over time, far too many lines for someone who was about to turn twenty. 

Keith couldn’t find the words as he watched his boyfriend blink at him, chest heaving, before he returned back to the desk, hands traveling to his hair where his fingers intertwined with his hair, pulling maybe too tight.

Keith decided now would probably be a good time to head to the library, so after quietly getting ready on the other side of the room, he slipped out, leaving Lance at his usual spot.

The library was almost empty for a Saturday afternoon and as Keith weaved in and out of tables to the one at the back, a pair of brown eyes met his and was beckoned over by a smile.

If anyone passed Hunk on the street without knowing him, they’d think he would probably kill you in a punch, but the thing was; Hunk was as soft as peaches.  
His seven foot build and arms as big as boats and shoulders as wide as bridges, Keith was sure he could easily kill him, but Hunk was a big loveable goof.

“Hey man!” The brown eyed boy beamed, making his was to Keith, using his shovel hands to give Keith a friendly slap on the back, sending the smaller boy stumbling.

“How’s it going Hunk?” Keith asked, slipping his backpack off his shoulder, taking a seat at the table,

“Yeah pretty good, just gotta get some reading in” He smiled, waving an Engineering book in his hands,

“Cool” Keith smiled awkwardly.

Hunk was Lance’s friend. He only knew Hunk because of Lance, and when the three of them where together, Lance could talk the ears off of the guy, but when it was just the two of them, Keith swore his voice would stop working and the two would quickly run out of conversation.

“So, uh, where’s Lance” Hunk looked up, and Keith could tell he probably regretted it as soon as he said it,

Keith half smiled, “We kinda had a fight” he said, instantly wishing he hadn’t,

“What? Really?” Hunk said in a breath, leaning in, and Keith quickly shook his head, swallowing,

“It wasn’t really a fight” he said, looking down, “I guess he’s just really stressed out right now” he spoke softly, almost as if he was keeping his voice down from Lance himself.

Hunk didn’t speak, watching Keith to continue, which Keith did,

“We don’t really talk much anymore, its his stupid art theory essay, it’s a real pain in the ass you know?” Keith spoke, his head rocking back slightly, 

Keith blinked, looking back at Hunk who seemed to be thinking,

“Text him” he said after what felt like hours.

“What?” Keith laughed, “Hunk, he’s not gonna like that, he’s busy”

Hunk rolled his eyes, tutted with his tongue, “Just text him?” He said, more of an order than a suggestion now.

Keith sighed out loud, something his did a lot these days, reaching for his phone in his bag.

The screen lit up, his lock screen a selfie from last Christmas, the two of the curled up on bed, wearing matching pyjamas that Lances mom had got them, Lance had snatched the phone from his hands, the two boy giggling just as Lance took the picture.   
He wished they were still that happy.

He opened up his texts, heart melting slightly at the memories, he never really texted him anymore, not when they were around each other all the time, but just the feeling made his stomach knot. 

“What am I supposed to say” Keith frowned, looking at his screen blankly,

Hunk shrugged like it was obvious, “You ask him out on a date, duh” 

Keith looked up, dumbfounded, “A date?” 

The other boy nodded, “Yeah, a date”

Now that Hunk has suggested it, Keith wondered when the last time the two of them left campus and just hung out.  
His heart did a flip as his fingers hovered of the keys, thinking about what he would say, he felt Hunk move closer, peer over the screen before saying,

“Just say it”

And that was just what Keith did.

 **Keith:** hey babe, i know youre busy but i was thinking maybe we could perhaps chill out tonight? love you xxx

He waited, watching the screen as time stood still, he didn’t understand why his hands were getting clammy or why his heart was beating faster than usual, but when his phone flashed again, his worries started to melt away.

 **Lancey:** sorry for being a total dick i would actually love that, love u too xxx

He didn’t care that Hunk was sitting inches away from him, he didn’t care that the blush in his cheeks had reached his ears, because for the first time in a while, he felt like he had Lance back.

He exchanged good bye with Hunk, completely ignoring the homework he had planned out later today, that could wait.

By the time he had reached their dorm, Lance had swung it open, practically pulling Keith in, and soon, his lips were on his, they kissed, both gasping for air, neither wanting to break away as Keith pushed forward, Lance smirking, knowing it made the black haired boy crazy.  
Soon his hands were traveling up his back, skin melting like putty at his touch.  
They stumbled around the room, Keith lazily shutting the door with a kick of the heel of his foot.

Their date could definitely wait for this.

He peppered his brown skin in kisses, along his jaw and down his neck, earning a giggle from the boy, not what he had expected,

“You okay?” Keith said through hazy eyes, breathing slightly erratic,

Lance stifled a giggle again, pulling Keith by the hem of his shirt, the two boys tumbling back onto the bed, Keith gasping at the sudden fall, bouncing slightly for a second, bed creaking under the pressure

They breathed heavily, Keith pecking kisses over him again, Lance laughing softly,  
“This is so much more better than homework”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i dont write smut, sorry its not really my thing so dont expect any more but this lmao


	3. Chapter 3

When Keith awoke to the slight snoring in his ear, eyes fluttering open to see Lance, head resting against hit bare chest, brown hair tussled from the night before, eyelids flickering deep in dreams, he felt his stomach flip from inside him, smile reaching his eyes.   
It was these Sunday mornings that he missed so much, it was this Lance that he missed.

When Keith had first moved in with him in their small dorm, it had taken weeks for them to so much as brush lips, but once the awkwardness had washed over the both of them, they couldn’t keep their hands off each other, like a pair of flustered, ravenous teenagers.  
He remembered their first kiss; it was on the end of the bed they lay on, it was sloppy and fast and awkward.  
Lance had been rambling about how much he hated his classes, words falling out of his mouth, and like it was second nature, Keith had his mouth pressed against his, his voice stopping in its tracks, blue eyes widening before they too closed, leaning into the kiss, and it was over as quick as it happened.   
Something Keith often thought about.  
He thought back to their first night together, cheeks reddening at the thought, blushing slightly to himself, before he felt the weight on his chest shift he was pulled out of his head and into the here and now.

“Morning” Keith said, voice dripping with sleep still, as he watched Lance blink himself awake. 

“Hey” he spoke, his voice was hoarse and tired, but the glint in his eyes was saying otherwise.

Keiths hand found itself gently tracing patterns on the boys back, fingertips gently brushing against skin affectionately.

Lance rolled onto his back, momentarily trapping the arm underneath him, before he stretched his legs, arching his back slightly, giving Keiths arm a quick escape,  
“What time is it?” Lance asked, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his palm.

Keith rolled over so he was hovering over the boy, squinting the sleep out of his eyes to see the clock,

“10.30” he managed to speak before letting out a small yawn.

Soon the warmth where Lance lay next to his boyfriend had quickly vanished as he lept out of bed, cursing,

“Fuck” he scrambled, taking the blanket with him, realising he wasn’t wearing any clothes after last night, dragging it with him.

Keith, who had somehow managed to slip into some sweatpants last night, quickly sat up, watching his boyfriend scramble around the small room, muttering angrily to himself,

“Hey babe what’s wrong?” he asked, tilting his head in confusion and Lance managed to find a pair of boxers, dressing himself as he hopped around the room in frustration. 

Lance’s head shot up, hair askew still, a trail of faded bruises on his jaw and neck, Keith knew never to make ones that would stay for more than a night,  
“I’m fucking late for class, that’s what’s fucking wrong” his voice going shrill, “and,” his voice getting louder, “I haven’t finished that fucking essay” his voice getting higher in frustration.

At this point, Lance had Keith’s shirt on, backwards, making a terrible attempt to put his jeans on whilst looking for his sneakers.

“Lance” Keith spoke, fondly, trying to hide the smile that was forming on his lips, but his boyfriend didn’t seem to hear him in his own whirlwind,

“Lance” Keith tried again, a slight chuckle slipping out this time, causing the blue eyed boy to snap his head up at Keith’s direction,

“What?” His voice was impatient, cheeks flushed,

“Lance, it’s Sunday” Keith chuckled softly, his heart warming, watching Lance’s angry expression slowly melt into something like confusion, 

“What?” he said again, softer this time,

“It’s Sunday, come back to bed” Keith smiled, flopping back onto the bed, his hair brushing into his eyes before falling behind his ears again.

He heard the sad small shuffle as Lance slowly made his way back to the bed, dumbfounded. 

Soon the bed creaked under the weight, and Lance was back in Keiths arms. 

“I’m an idiot” he said quietly after a while,

“You’re stressed” Keith replied back, closing his eyes.

Lance sighed,

“You’re also wearing my shirt” Keith spoke, “backwards”

“I’m a double idiot” 

The two boys seemed to roll towards together at the same time, noses inches away from each other, and Keith could feel his breath hit his face.

“I really have missed this” Lance said quietly, almost as if he was falling back asleep.  
Maybe he was.

“Me too” Keith agreed, shuffling towards him, just as Lance jiggled forward.

Keith opened his eyes, watching his sleepy boyfriend, how the bags under his eyes were still there, how his eyes weren’t as blue as they used to be.   
He mused for a second, wondering if he should talk to Lance about his health, about school, about anything that was worrying him.

But something inside him bit his tongue. He didn’t want to create an argument, not now, not here.

It settled heavily in the pits of his stomach, and he decided that he would have to just swallow it down for now.   
Because they were going to be fine.

Right.

Right?


	4. Chapter 4

Unfortunately the lazy Sunday that Keith craved, seemed to fade fast and hard, only having a mere half hour more to snooze with Lance, until the blue eyed boy protested about how important his theory exam was, and just like any other day, Keith let him go.

“I’m heading to the library” Lance said after a few hours of silence, standing up from his desk to face Keith who was sat up in bed, mindlessly scrolling through his phone.

Keith watched him pick his backpack up off the floor, shoving endless paperwork into it, eyebrows knitted together,  
“You don’t wanna work here?” He asked watching the boy move across the room,

“No its fine” Lance said in a cold tone, looking rather frustrated.

Keith held his tongue, all his words traveling to his stomach where it made him feel sick, but for the first time, he opened his mouth, vomiting his thoughts,

“We need to talk”

Lance stopped in his tracks, as if being physically blocked from leaving the room,  
“No we don’t” he said without turning around. There was spite in his voice, covering the tiredness that lay there.

“I think we do” Keith said quietly after a few seconds of silence.

Lance didn’t move, he stood inches away from the bed, facing the door, and Keith thought for a second that he was going to turn around, shrug his heavy back off his back and sit on the edge of the bed like he did when they first kissed.

But Keith was wrong when Lance twisted the door handle, taking two strides, making sure to slam the door behind him, leaving the black haired boy alone on the bed, phone forgotten by his side as he flopped back onto the bed, running a hand through his hair, mind completely blank.

They couldn’t hide it anymore; something had broken.

He couldn’t pin point it, when and where, but it was cracking underneath them, threatening to snap and crumble, pulling them both down.

He reached for his phone looking at the lock screen for a few minutes before deciding to unlock it.

Hi thumb hesitated of the texts, his most recent one from Lance yesterday.  
Heart in his throat he started to type.

 **Keith:** im sorry

But there was no reply.  
No apology back, no Lance throwing himself through the door, all over him, no messy tears of joy or smirks against their lips. Not even any screaming or yelling. 

It was just Keith alone in their dorm, alone and sad.

 **Keith:** im sorry


	5. Chapter 5

The weekend ended, and Keith was grateful for that – there was nothing worse than being stuck inside a small room with someone that didn’t want to talk to you.

At least he could escape to classes without having to see Lance for a few hours a week.

The thought passed through his mind, and immediately Keith mentally kicked himself, because he didn’t really mean in.  
He loved Lance, it was just a bumpy patch.   
He loved Lance.

His English Literature classes seemed a good distraction, but when he left the room, clutching his paper and he saw both Hunk and Lance looming around the hallways, he had a second to decide if he should perhaps turn around and hide for a few hours.  
But when Hunk waved a big arm in the air, it was obvious he had been spotted.

He hadn’t seen Lance this morning, he’d already left by the time he awoke, and judging from the way he was slumped against the wall, eyes dull, Keith knew he hadn’t slept again.

“Hey Keith” Hunk practically yelled, smile wide and Keith shuffled nervously towards them.  
He made brief eye contact with Lance before looking away again, not feeling brave enough.

“So I know it’s like Monday or whatever but there’s a huge party going on tonight” Hunk smiled, looking at the two boys in excitement.

There was silence, save for the sound of teenagers mulling around behind them, before Keiths gaze flickered over to his boyfriend.

Keith hated parties, and Lance kinda did too. He knew for a fact that Hunks little plan was already a flop because there was no way that Lance would go to a party, not with all this stressing over work.

But his internal voice was cut off when Lance spoke up,

“Sure, we’ll go”

It didn’t make sense.   
Yesterday they were cold and distant, and now they sat in their dorm room getting ready for a party neither of them wanted to go.

“Does this shirt look good?” Lance asked, twirling around, showing Keith the blue shirt to Keith who sat on the edge of the bed, looking unamused,

“Yeah” Keith said tiredly, not entirely paying attention to the various collection of Lance’s wardrobe, fiddling with the frayed parts of his jeans. 

Lance seemed to notice this, pausing, before leaning in closer,

“I bet you prefer if it was on the floor” He whispered, a glint in his eyes.

That certainly woke Keith up, and before he had time to react, Lance was pushing him into the bed, lips trailing from his lips to his neck to his collarbone, doing that half smirk he did.

But it was over very quickly when Keith sat up, startling Lance as he rolled off the other boy, yelping as he slipped off the bed, hitting the floor with a thump.

“What the hell, Keith” he frowned from the floor, rubbing his ass with the palm of his hand,

Keith spluttered on his words before throwing his hands in the air,  
“What the hell to you!” He felt the heat rise up in his chest as he recognised the look on Lance’s face, that one where his face would scrunch up and his eyes would go all squinty, that face that would just piss Keith off.

“I was just trying to have a good time” Lance spat, standing up,

“Fun? Trying ignoring me for weeks and then trying to sleep with me” Keith gave a bitter laugh.

That was when it all erupted.

There was screaming and yelling and maybe tears, and neither of them went to the party that night. In fact, Keith wondered if he should perhaps just get out of here. Leave and go for a walk or something, but something made him stay. 

And when the argument finally died a little, they realised that they would have to sleep in the same bed as each other, Keith mused if it would be a good idea to leave and perhaps sleep on a park bench somewhere.

They lay in bed, Lance still had his stupid blue shirt on, and Keith was peeling his too tight jeans off. 

They flopped onto the bed, backs to each other, and even though Keith could hear his breathing from behind him, he had never felt so distant.

There was a buzz and the room lit up and was soon followed by the sound of Lance unlocking his phone, and after a few minutes of typing, Keith guessed it was probably Hunk, wondering why they never turned up.

It was three in the morning and they were both awake. Keith lay on his back, Lance still on his side, and every now and then, he’d turn his head to watch him, seeing if he would say anything or do anything.

But there was a thick heavy silence.  
Until,  
“Do you love me?”

It was sudden and raw, his voice scratchy from the screaming those hours before.  
Keith blinked,

“Of course I do”

It was the right thing to say but something in his chest didn’t feel right. He brushed it away quickly.

“Do you love me?” he asked back.

There was a beat of silence, followed by,

“Yes”

Something about it was too quick, too easy, but when Lance rolled over lazily to face him, pools of tears in his eyes, lip quivering, he didn’t even need to blink before tears were rolling down his face, Keith forgot all about it, pressing a kiss on his lips.

The blue eyed boy curled against him, head against his chest, falling asleep.   
But Keith didn’t fall asleep that night, instead he stay away, head too loud to fall asleep.

Head too loud with a million thoughts, a million unanswered questions, loud angry voices, all telling him what his heart already knew.

Did they really love each other?

He wasn’t entirely sure anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> boys are dumb lol


	6. Chapter 6

“Do you wanna get a pizza or something?” Keith asked from where he sat on the bed, knees curled up to his chest.

Lance sat in his usual spot, letting out a huff of air, “Uh, yeah sure”

Keith nodded slowly even though he knew he couldn’t see him. It had been a week since their fight, and since then it was like he was living in some sort of warped cycle.  
They would argue, then cry to each other, get heated, ignore each other and do it all over again, and Keith didn’t know how much he could really take anymore.

“So are you gonna order in or whatever” Lance said tiredly, putting his pen down, shifting to face the other boy.

Keith blinked up at him, feeling his heart in his throat, the burning sensation behind his eyes, there was so much he wanted to say, so much he wanted to scream and Lance, he wanted to go and stay at the same time.

He was stuck somewhere between his head and his heart.

Eventually he spoke up,  
“Do you, uh, wanna get out of here?” and just like that, he felt like he was the boy who used to just secretly watch Lance from afar, too scared to talk to him, too afraid to make himself known, like he was a kid with a big horrible crush.

But everything melted away when Lance smiled, his eyes glistening,  
“Sure”

Before he had met Lance, he had no friends, any friends he had now where Lance’s friends, and before that he rarely left college campus. So when they started dating, Lance would take him by the hand and drag his around town, taking him to all the little milkshake bars and tiny hidden cafes. It was those kind of dates that Keith secretly adored.

The Pizza Parlour was just a little walk away from the college, enough for them to make small talk, and Keith couldn’t help but notice the way their hands would brush past each other as they walked, itching to grab hold, but something in them both stopped them. 

By the time they had reached their destination, the hunger that had seemed to be non-existent for the past few weeks, crept up on Keith, his stomach crying for pizza.

For some reason it was a little awkward, the two boys scooted over to their booth, and it felt like it was their first date, they made tiny talk, about the weather, about Lance’s mom, about stuff.

“Can I take your order?” came a voice. The woman was short and plump and smiled knowingly, if anything she probably thought this was some sort of awkward cute first date, when in reality, they’d been together for a little over a year and neither of them could speak through the paralysing fear of what they both were thinking.

“Just a medium cheese and coke, please” Lance half smiled at the woman who quickly jotted down in her pad, before Lance looked over at Keith,

“And uh, a pineapple and Pepsi, thanks” he said, smiling as the woman walked back behind the bar.

Keith was about to start the conversation he had planned in his head about dogs when he noticed the corners of Lance’s mouth curl up, stopping him,

“What’s so funny?” Keith asked, eyebrows knitting together,

The brown haired boy shook his head fondly, lips now cracking into a smile,  
“You” 

That was all it took to transport Keith back to last year, last year when they’d be laying on the hood of a teachers cars, looking up at the night sky, when Lance would turn his head and give Keith that look, making him feel the most loved he had ever in his life.

“Me?” he said, letting out a breathy laugh,

“Yeah you,” Lance repeated, chuckling to himself, “I mean you’re almost twenty years old and you still haven’t learnt that pineapple on pizza is fucking gross”

Keith grinned and Lance let out a laugh, and soon they couldn’t stop, their hands reached across the table, interlacing with each other, as Keith attempted to shush his uncontrollable boyfriend, who had his head back, tears forming from laughing. He always had a tendency for not being able to control his volume.

People had turned into their seats to watch the hysterical boys and Keith choked on a laugh, it wasn’t even that funny.  
And by the time Lance was wiping away tears, the two boys trying to get their breath back their pizzas had arrived, and as soon as Lance saw the pizza, he was off again.

Keith thanked the woman again, and she smiled again like before.  
And it really did feel like a first date.

They ate their pizzas and stayed way too late than they should have, it was eight now and they had been talking, rambling. Stupid dumb stuff, stupid dumb stuff that Keith loved, he loved the way Lance’s eyes lit up, the way he threw his head back when he laughed or the way the corners of his eyes would crinkle when he smiled.

What was Keith thinking before? Of course he loved Lance, it was obvious.

Their hands met again, Keith’s thumb brushing over Lance’s.

“I love you” Keith said, full of confidence this time, 

And Lance smiled a genuine smile. This time he wasn’t too quick or hesitant, because when he said it, it felt so real, and made the black haired boys heart do a flip flop inside his chest,

“I love you too”.

And he was one hundred percent sure he meant it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pizza is literally the best cure for anything, ive been on one date my entire life and they got me pizza and it was romantic but turned out they didnt like dogs so the romance was instantly dead (jk im just unlovable lol) 
> 
> also tag urself im lance, never go wrong with a cheese pizza and coke, except i usually go for large and i was gonna write that but then i remembered that it wasnt socially expectable to have a whole large pizza to yourself (apparently idk) 
> 
> keith ur gross (also im a fucking loser that referenced my own fanfic (pineapple pizza) which is another klance fic i never finished lmao nice one although i think i did mention keiths love for gross pizza in unknown number who knows)
> 
> tell me in the comments what ur ideal pizza topping is!!


	7. Chapter 7

It was a Wednesday morning and Keith wanted nothing but to stay in bed. He and Lance had been out all night, roaming around the streets, talking and laughing, and there had even been an incredibly cheesy moment when Lance beckoned Keith to come lay in the road with him, and Keith only groaned with a fond smile because his boyfriend had made him watch that damn movie over a thousand times.   
They made it back to their dorm around eleven last night, and there was no hot make out session or falling asleep back to back.  
Instead Lance had curled under Keith's arm, talking about anything and everything, giggling softly until the fell asleep around four in the morning.

The sun peaked through the blinds, colours of orange and yellow seeping into the room, and as Keith awoke blearily, he couldn’t help but notice the way the sun seemed to pour over Lance’s face; illuminating the small freckles over the bridge of his nose, the shadows of his eyelashes, the small scar on his forehead that he got when he was four from when he rollerbladed down the hill by his house.  
Lance was truly a work of art, his lips slightly parted as he breathed steadily deep in sleep, and for the first time in a long time he couldn’t help but feel so lucky.

Keith watched Lance for a while, glancing at the clock. He had no classes today, but he knew Lance would have to wake up soon for his.

The thought of Lance and class had his stomach churning, everything was so much more worse when Lance was bombarded with essays and work and projects, so much, that a tiny voice inside of Keith’s head told him to let Lance sleep in and miss his classes – so what if it went down on his record? Just one missed class wouldn’t hurt, right?

But when Lance murmured innocently in his sleep, shuffling closer to Keith, that voice in his head died out, and he knew he could never do that to Lance.

Lance had worked damn hard all his life. Keith had never physically met Lance’s family, the only communication was through various Skype calls that Lance would drag him to, only to be cooed at by his mother and sisters.  
But those nights that they spent hours talking, or the days Keith would spend texting Lance through a boring lecture, he knew well enough the kind of bullshit Lance’s family went through – see, Lance originally came from Cuba, but sadly after his father passed away, his mother and older sisters decided to pack up and live the big American Dream, but nothing was ever that easy, and from what Keith had heard, Lance had a pretty shitty first years of his life, and even at school was picked on and pushed around.   
Keith was glad for friends like Hunk – Hunk who would hang around Lance constantly to scare of bullies, Hunk who shared his lunch when Lance didn’t have enough money for his. Hunk who cared so much about his friends that he helped Lance with getting into college the first place, Hunk who got Lance to where he was now, Hunk who inevitably bought Keith and Lance together.

And he couldn’t be more grateful for that.

But Lance sometimes worked too hard, and it would slowly break Keiths heart. Lance was damn good at art, Keith wouldn’t lie that there had been a few times he’d posed sexily across the bed, using the famous quote about being drawn like a French girl.  
But what Lance really struggled on was his theory – the less creative side, the essay side.  
It wasn’t that Lance wasn’t smart, because he was, but it was the fact that he would have to sit down and physically write something out that did something to him, something that made him break inside, because Lance had worked so hard in his life, Keith got the impression that perhaps he didn’t know how to ask for help.

That’s what made it worse, whenever Keith would try to console him, Lance would look at him with big blue angry eyes, screaming that he didn’t need help, that he wasn’t a fucking charity case, Keith.  
He was far too proud.

But it was March now, Summer was practically around the corner, college was about to be done, and Lance didn’t have a single clue what he wanted to do.  
Art was his best skill but he had no idea how he was going to create a career out of it.

It was a tiny part in the back of Keiths mind that reminded him that he needed to talk to Lance about it without it turning into a screaming match. Because he couldn’t go back to that, not now.

Lance mumbled something incoherent again and this time Keith decided it would be a good time to wake his boyfriend up,

“Lance” he said softy, “Lance wake up” he placed a hand on his shoulder, but Lance just frowned grumpily,

“Lance c’mon you’re gonna be late for your class” He said a little louder now, rolling the boy away from him,

Lance mumbled something, his head now buried in the pillow but Keith was unable to make out what he said,

“What was that?” He asked, leaning closer,

Lance lifted his head away from the pillow, eyes still closed, letting out a small yawn before,  
“I said, fuck class”

Keith gave a small fond chuckle, watching Lance burry his head sleepily back into the warmth of the pillow,

“Lancey baby come on” Keith protested, but there was something in his voice that didn’t fully believe what he was saying, not all of him really cared if he missed his classes.

“Keeeeith” the boy groaned, rolling over this time, eyes blinking up at Keith who was hovered over him.

“I don’t wanna go” the boy whined, his face pulling into a childish frown.

“Then don’t” Keith smirked, lowering himself to plant a kiss on his lips, stopping him from talking for a second before letting go,

“You’re not gonna try and convince me and say about how important my classes are?” Lance pouted playfully before being kissed again.

Keith made a noise that was supposed to be a no, but with his lips on Lance’s, it was proving to be difficult, when he finally did pull away he smiled, the corners of his lips curling,

“Fuck class”

 

They got dressed and sneakily headed to the cafeteria for breakfast, the excitement of getting caught pulsed through them both before heading back to their dorm. They had the entire day to themselves to do whatever they wanted, when Lance got a text from Hunk,

“There’s a party tonight” Lance read from his phone as Keith hauled his backpack off the floor, pausing to look over,

“Do we wanna go?” Lance asked, looking up to meet Keiths eyes,

The darker haired boy smiled, shrugging, “Sure, I’m down for a party”

They took their backpacks and left, it felt like running away, and in a way it kind of was, running away from angry teachers and stupid rules and any sort of responsibilities.  
They slipped off campus, free of any teachers or rules or responsibilities and made their way to the nearby city.

They didn’t really have any plans, but Keith had packed their phones, two chargers and his wallet (which had a grand total of $12 and an old coupon for discount couples yoga classes that expired in 2008) – but who said romance had to be fancy.

They mused about going back to the pizza place, but after they’d just eaten breakfast, decided against it and find something fun to do.

That was when Lance saw it, grabbing Keith by the sleeve, pulling him along as he made a beeline for the small play park.

It was small and enclosed in a low metal railing with a fence. There was a slide, a roundabout and swing set as well as two tiny caterpillar-bouncy-seat things that quite frankly creeped Keith out.

“Lance,” Keith breathed, “why are we in a children’s playground?” He questioned, looking around sheepishly,

“Because” Lance sing-songed, skipping over to the slide, “playgrounds are freaking fun as heck” he said, clambering up the tiny steps.

The problem was that Lance was 6 foot three, Keith only an inch and a half smaller, and this park definitely wasn’t built for people that big. They weren’t built for people they were built for kids, technically, tiny small two foot kids.

Lance reached the top of the slide, pumping his hands in the air triumphantly, beaming down and Keith who shook his head in disbelief before Lance folded himself up, pushing his knees under his chin, attempting to slide down, however the movement wasn’t very fluid, his ass getting stuck, jolting him forward every now and then before he finally reached the bottom where Keith stood.

“You’re a big kid” Keith smirked, holding a hand out for Lance to pull himself up on,

“Yeah and you love it” Lance winked as he reached eye level with Keith again.

They messed around for a bit, playing around like kids, ignoring the funny looks from mothers who hustled their children away from them, only for Lance’s big mouth to erupt into a huge giggly laugh, when they sat on the swings in a comfortable, happy silence.

Keith scuffed the tarmac underneath him with the toe of his shoe, tracing all the previous scuff marks that had been left there over the years, when he suddenly spoke,

“I never really went to parks a kid” 

He didn’t know what made him say it, he usually had such a huge filter on his brain before he spoke, constantly planning out conversations in his head before they happened, it was a downfall of being shy, not being able to just say what you want to say, but for some reason those words seem to tumble out of his mouth effortlessly.

Lance looked up suddenly, intrigued – Keith rarely opened up about family life or his past, Lance always made snide jokes about it, about him having some angsty origin backstory, but the tone of Keiths voice showed how serious he was being right now,

“I guess it was because after my mom left, my dad just kinda shut down” he spoke softly, almost as if he was just thinking out loud instead of actually having a conversation with Lance,

“Because even though she wasn’t like,” he paused for a second, mouth missing the words before, “the greatest mom” he said reluctantly, “she pretty much did everything” his voice hitched slightly, and Lance instantly wanted to move closer, but he was frozen, like watching a wild deer for the first time,

“And my dad was never really good at the whole parenting junk, so, uh, I never had the pleasure of going to one of these places” he said, voice trailing off at the end, slowly looking up at Lance as if he had only now just realised that he was talking out loud.

But Lance gave him a half smile; half sad, half reassuring before nudging him playfully with an elbow, winking at his boyfriend, making his cheeks redden slightly,

“Well I guess the pleasure is all mine then” 

 

They continued to talk on the swing set, have small laughs and go a little deep, it was now lunch time, but neither of the boys had any intentions of leaving just quite yet.  
They had been talking about a documentary Lance had wanted to watch when another filter fail on his brain happened when he said,

“Why did we fight?”

He instantly wished he could eat back his words the way Lance seemed to flinch at the suggestion. Both boys blinked silently at each other, both seemed to be rather taken aback, before Lance gave a lopsided smile,

“What fight?” 

It wasn’t that Keith didn’t care that Lance didn’t want to talk about it – he got that, it was the fact that Lance would so blatantly lie about it, pretending it wasn’t there. Because underneath the cute dates and pizza jokes and romance, there were still thin cracks that Keith was afraid of, and he wanted Lance to be just as aware of them as he was.

“Lance” he breathed tiredly, he desperately didn’t want this to turn into another argument, not here in the middle of a children’s playground at twelve in the morning, but at the same time it was so hard not to,

“Can’t we just talk” he said, but there was no anger to his voice, instead, it was soft and gentle, as his arm reached out to Lance’s knee, hand resting there.

The other boy, pushed back on his heels slightly, swinging before stopping himself with the toes of his shoes, letting out a deep sigh, his eyes were fixated on the patch of grass ahead of him, eyebrows furrowed, and Keith could tell he was in deep thought,

“I guess so” was what he finally said in a small, quiet voice, still not looking up.

Neither boys spoke for a few moments of silence, almost as if they were both trying to figure out what to say. It was eventually Lance that decided to speak up first,

“I don’t want to fight” was all he managed to say, eyes not quite reaching Keith's, “I want things to change” he said, his voice genuine.

It wasn’t entirely what Keith wanted to hear, he was hoping for an entire explanation, for Lance to pour his heart out and tell Keith how he was struggling, just so he could do something about it – but it was something at least.

“I know” Keith said back softly, his hand still on the other boys knee, giving it a soft squeeze, making Lance look up at him, blue eyes meeting his, before his lips curled, and they leant in for a kiss.

When they pulled away, faces inches away from each other, Lance whispered, his hot breath tickling Keith’s nose,

“I’m gonna change things”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took forever to write lmao


	8. Chapter 8

They arrived a little late at the party which wasn’t so bad, since there had to be at least over a hundred people here, they just slipped in and started doing their best at mingling.   
Keith practically hung onto Lance the whole time, remembering how much he hated parties, not really knowing anyone rather than his boyfriend kind of put him on edge, a small anxiety creeping up on him.  
They had agreed that they wouldn’t stay too late, mainly because it was probably going to be boring, and wasn’t worth staying up all night and morning for, so they set themselves a time for a few hours for when they could slip back out, unnoticed back to the comfort of their own bed.  
But that plan seemed to snowball out of control the moment some random guy handed Lance a bottle of what Keith guessed was a beer – and it all got out of control from there.

Keith had seen Lance drunk before, the nights when they’d sneak a few bottles of tequila and vodka to their room and drink until they were giggling on the floor – the nice kind of drunk, the kind of drunk when it was just them, when Lance didn’t have to impress anyone.  
But add a crowd of ninety nine people and Lance seems to lose all sense of dignity and he’s doing stuff he wouldn’t even do when sober.  
Keith is trying to pull his boyfriend off a table, when he heard a stranger yell over the music that Keith recognised as Misery Business, with slurred words,

“Hey, leave him man, he’s havin’ a good time!” 

Keith, his hand still wrapped gently around the other boys arm, blinked at the stranger, then back at Lance, who was singing, voice lost in the boom of the music, his free arm waving frantically around the air – he was having a good time it looked, he didn’t want to take that away from him after these past few months of hell – so Keith let his hand slip and left Lance to the party.

Keith managed to make his way through the sea of people, taking a deep breath as he squeezed against the people, letting out a breath of air when he reached the kitchen that was empty except for Hunk who was leaned against the kitchen counter, his hand dipping into a bowl of chips by his side every now and then.

“Hey Hunk” Keith said, now being able to hear himself hear, and the other boy looked up from his phone, smile lighting up after seeing his friend,

“Keith!” He beamed, “You’re here” he said, but it was more like a question rather than a statement, and Keith just nodded,

“Yeah, we decided that a party was probably a good idea” Keith said, taking a quick sip of his lemonade,

“We?” Hunk asked, eyes traveling behind Keith as if trying to spot Lance,

“Yeah” Keith nodded again, “He’s back there” jabbing a thumb behind him, gesturing to the party that was happening behind them.

There was a roar of cheers, and Hunk smiled, “I’m guessing he’s doing something dumb?” 

Keith gave a small fond smile, taking another swig of his drink, “When is he not?”

There was a quick silence as Keith drunk his drink and Hunk took another handful of chips before Hunk spoke up again,

“So, uh, is everything…” He trailed off, eyebrows curving in concern as he carefully watched Keith’s facial expression,

“It’s uh” Keith said, eyes trailing around the room as he tried to find the right words, “it’s okay” was what he finally settled for.

Hunk threw another handful of chips in his mouth, “Okay?” 

The black haired boy shrugged effortlessly, looking down at his cup which was almost empty now, “I guess we’re gonna work on it” he said, not looking up at Hunk, but he could almost feel the sympathetic smile he was giving him,

“I’m glad you are”

The two boys chatted for a little while, Hunk offering Keith the bowl of chips, them talking about school and homework and everything but Lance when there was another explosion of noise from the crowd in the living room,

“He really is the life of the party” Hunk laughed to himself.

 

It was a little over twelve when Keith decided that he should probably go rescue his boyfriend and leave Hunk to the party, so when he slipped back into the crowd, his heart rate picked up slightly when he couldn’t seem to find him.

“Hey, have you seen Lance?” Keith yelled over the music, tugging on the person closest to him, sleeve, 

“Who?” they said in a slurred tone, and Keith just rolled his eyes, knowing that these people were way too intoxicated to comprehend who or where Lance was, so he pushed his way through the room and almost tripped out the door. The cool air hit him straight away as he tried to cool his nerves, hand reaching for his phone, he let out a breath of air as he opened up his texts.

 **Keith:** hey, where are you ?

No reply

 **Keith:** lance??

Nothing.

 **Keith:** where the hell are you?!

Silence.

He looked back at his texts, the last one seemed a little harsh, but he was starting to panic now.   
With shaky fingers he pressed dial and tried to stop his legs from getting jittery.

His heart seemed to sink all the way to his feet like a rock when it went to the familiar sound of Lance’s answer phone and Keith cursed under his breath,

“Dammit Lance” he muttered to himself, only to be completely jump scared when a voice came from behind him,

“You looking for Lance?” the voice said, and Keith thought he had never moved faster when he came face to face with a man who had apparently been standing against the brick wall behind him, in the shadows.

He had a long face and a small amount of stubble on his chin, a beanie covering the thin hair on top of his head, a fair amount of freckles scattered over the bridge of his long, beak like nose, his skin was so pale it almost seemed blue.

“Uh, yeah” Keith finally said, blinking,

“Someone took him home, he was way outta it” the man said in a gruff tone, foot scuffing against the floor,

“Um, thanks” Keith said meekly, “Thank you” he said again,

“No problem” the man said.

Keith went to turn on his heel and make his way back to campus when he stopped,  
“What did you say your name was?” He asked curiously,

“I didn’t,” the man spoke, and he paused before, “it’s Rolo”

Keith nodded in appreciation and Rolo nodded back as Keith started to jog back, that name rang a bell, but he wasn’t entirely sure where. 

When Keith made it back to their dorm, he expected to see Lance, strewn across the bed, mouth agape as he snored, that small smile that was permanently on his face, and Keith expected to drape the blankets over him and slide in next to him and sleep until two in the afternoon the next day.

But Keith was wrong.

Because instead, the room was cold and quiet. The lights were off and all Keith could hear was the sound of his own breathing and the white noise that filled the air of the room. He stood in the dark for a while, letting is absorb him until he fished his phone out of his pocket again. His screen was empty – there was no texts or missed calls, there was nothing.

So, tiredly, he decided to slip into bed, alone, without him, and it wasn’t warm and nice and safe. It was cold and empty and sad. And Keith knew he wasn’t going to stay sleeping until tomorrow afternoon, because he knew he probably wouldn’t even sleep tonight.  
So he lay on his back in the middle of the bed, the mattress feeling like rocks, as he stared up at the ceiling, waiting, and waiting for Lance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took a while, im gonna try to post more often from now on !!


	9. Chapter 9

Lance awoke, feeling as if his whole body was underwater. His head felt heavy, it felt as if there was a rock tied to his feet, weighing him down to the bed. 

And that's when he opened his eyes.  
The ceiling wasn't the same, the blanket covering his body wasn't the same.  
He blinked a few more times, hoping, worrying, that maybe it was the last of his sleep clinging on to him; disorientating him.  
But when he blinked a few times more and nothing changed, he felt his heart hammer against his chest.

It was when he finally found the strength to lift his head off the pillow that he realised where he was.  
With a look to his left, that was when he saw her.

Nyma.

He saw her as the light pooled over her face, her delicate, pale, porcelain like skin, her long, thick, black eyelashes, and the way her long blonde hair lazily rolled off her shoulders and down her back, curls pooling over her chest.  
Lance felt physically sick, her lips twitching in her sleep, as if she was having a good dream, whilst Lance felt as if he was in some sort of nightmare.

There was no way they—

Did they?

Lance lay still, almost as if they girl next to him was some sort of T-Rex, that if he moved, she'd kill him.  
But eventually, he slowly lifted a hand to meet the blanket.  
When he peeled it back an inch it was then that his nightmare had come true.

He sucked in a breath, his heart beating way too fast for it to be healthy, as his body lay rigid on the bed, his mind screaming at him to run.

It wasn't as if he'd never had sex with Nyma before, she was his ex girlfriend.

Emphasis on the word "ex".

He lay there, trying to push out any memories of last night that were now resurfacing, trying to think of anything else.  
But all he could think about was the blurry memories of last night, replaying in his head like a bad movie; choppy and all of the place, and suddenly he thought of Keith.

He thought of what he had said to Keith on the swing set the day before, he thought about Keith at the party, he thought about how he stumbled into Nyma last night as they escaped the party, he thought about how he had his lips inches away from her neck, telling her,

"Don't worry about Keith, it's practically over anyway"

And that was when he threw up.  
He practically flung himself out of bed, not caring about waking Nyma anymore and he released the contents of his stomach over the floor by the bed, dry heaving afterwards.

He coughed, cringing for a second before sitting back down, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, and even though everything in his stomach was now gone, he still felt incredibly ill.

"You never were good at hangovers" came a soft voice from behind him, and Lance spun around, face to face with Nyma, who was now pulling a tshirt over herself, and suddenly Lance remembered he was completely naked.

He stumbled to grab the blanket to cover his himself when Nyma gave a short laugh,

"I've seen you naked plenty of times Lance, no need to act embarrassed" she smiled, rolling her eyes, as she sat back on the bed.

But Lance didn't speak, it felt as if someone had turned his voice box off as he watched her, picking her phone up off the side table, and he felt his stomach churn once more.

She was acting as if nothing had happened - like them sleeping together was something that happened on the daily, as if they had never broken up and Keith didn't exist.

Lance cringed, he had technically told her to forgot about him.

But it didn't stop him from feeling nauseous.

"Are you gonna clean that up?" She asked without looking up, and it took Lance a moment to register what she meant.

The vomit.

Lance cleared his throat nervously, "Sure" was all that came out, and it was scratchy and weak, and he flinched at how pathetic he sounded.

But he couldn't move, he felt his cheeks flush, the blanket the only thing covering what little dignity he had left, when he plucked up the courage to speak again,

"Do you, uh, know where my clothes are?"

Nyma still didn't look up, but gave a short laugh,   
"No idea, can't remember" was all that she said, leaving Lance in silence.

"So, do you, uh, have anything I can wear?" He asked meekly, eyes scanning the room for clothes that were no where to find.

There was a few moments of silence before she threw down her phone next her her, huffing as she pulled her self up and made her way to the closet on the other side of the room.

"Here," she said, throwing Lance a pair of grey sweatpants, "these will do, they're guy clothes so don't worry" she muttered, throwing him a shirt,

Lance grabbed them, "I think I'd probably look good in your clothes though" Lance joked and immediately regretted it.

It was stupid, really fucking stupid. He was an idiot, here he was cheating on his boyfriend, flirting with his ex girlfriend about wearing her clothes. 

His stomach did another flip flop inside of him, and he looked back down at the clothes in his hands.

"You don't have any underwear do you?" he spoke quietly, enough for her to hear,

"No" she said quickly, "but you can always wear mine" she laughed, and Lance had to physically restrain himself from vomiting all over her floor again.

He quickly got changed, and managed to clean up the mess he had made, and sat quietly on the edge of her bed, facing the wall, his back to Nyma who was still on her phone.

He didn't know what to do, he didn't know where his phone was and he felt to tired and sick to move again, so they just sat in silence.

An hour had to have passed when he felt something softly his his back,  
"Your phone" she muttered, uninterested.

He snatched it from where it lay, thankful for it to still be alive, only on twenty percent, but suddenly he wished he hadn't looked, when he saw the onslaught.

There was 12 texts from Keith and at least 30 missed calls.  
He was sure all his insides moved at once, because of the bubbling sensation in his stomach made the urge to be sick even stronger.

He scrolled through the texts, his heart beating faster and faster, so fast he was afraid it would rip from his chest.

He read the messages, ranging from,   
"where the fuck are you?" to "text me let me know ur safe i love you xx"

Lance just stared at the screen, re reading the same messages, over and over again in his head, in Keith's voice, imagining his boyfriend, sending those texts, in anger, in fear - in love.

His stomach knotted for the hundredth time this morning, when a voice broke him from his thoughts,

"You should probably get going soon" 

Nyma was sat up in her bed, looking as if she wanted to go back to sleep, after all, it was still nine in the morning.

Lance nodded dumbly, realising that there really wasn't any reason for him to stay - it was just a dumb one night stand, that could possibly ruin everything for him, and here he was, sitting on her bed close to tears because he had done something stupid.

"Yeah, okay" he said numbly, words just tumbling out of his mouth at this point, like his brain wasn't even working.

He gathered the little possessions he had, decided to sacrifice his missing clothes, and just get the hell out of there and never come back.

But as he stood to leave, he felt a hand on his shoulder, and he was being pulled down, not having enough time to even process his thoughts when his lips were pressed against hers.

They were just as he remembered. 

He felt himself lean in before he pulled away quickly, shocked at his own actions, blinking hard as a smirk grew on her lips,

"I'll see you around" is what he last heard before he had swung the door open, desperate to leave and find somewhere to cry.

 

That was the plan. Find somewhere to cry.   
But a campus full of thousands of people has proven that to be pretty hard, so like autopilot, Lance let his legs take him home.

Home.

The words sounded so fake and horrible, it hardly was home anymore.

Before he knew it, he was stood outside their door, the corridor seemed longer than he had ever imagined it in the two years he had lived here, and be put the down to the fact that his head was still spinning.

He couldn't even move.   
His feet were rooted to the spot like some big tree, and his throat ran dry. He was worried he would even forget how to breath.

What was he supposed to say? What were they going to do? They couldn't live together after this, they couldn't be "normal" after this, there was no way they could live like roommates and be fine with it. It made his heart do a weird twisty sensation in his chest but he sucked it up. 

And that's when it all went wrong.

He was so close, he was just about to twist the door handle, just about to pour all his words out, when all of the sudden the door flung open and he was face to face with Keith.

They were both equally as surprised to see each other, and Keith stood there, wide eyed, and suddenly all the words that Lance had ready on his tongue has suddenly washed away like a tsunami inside his brain, leaving him completely empty of words.  
They stared at each other before he saw Keith's face crack into a sympathetic smile,

"Oh thank God you're okay" he signed in relief, as if he had been holding his breath all night.

Before Lance knew it, he was being pulled into a tight hug, and he felt his body go stiff and Keith wrapped warm arms around his body.

"I've been worried sick" was what he said when they eventually made it into the room, Keith now sat cross legged on the bed, patting a hand down for Lance to join him.

He quickly sat down opposite him, looking into those deep eyes. They were a deep blue and brown, almost purple if you looked hard enough, but now Lance couldn't stomach looking back into those loving eyes.

"Where were you? Crash out at a friends?" Keith asked casually, but a hint of concern — but Lance knew the concern wasn't the fear of being cheated on.

It was this loving concern, making sure that Lance was okay, that he was feeling alright and that he wasn't hurt or anything, when Lance knew he didn't dare deserve any of that.

And before Lance could even comprehend his response, his tongue was talking without him,

"Yeah"

"You look tired" Keith frowned, leaning in closer.

Lance felt his body go still again, eyes watching as Keith placed a gentle kiss on his lips.

It felt so tender and loving, not like Nyma's kiss that was hard and uncomfortable.  
No, this kiss was so full of love, so full of relief and happiness. 

And Lance had ruined all of that.

He didn't realise he was crying until Keith pulled away, frowning again,

"Lance?" He asked, a thumb brushing delicately over his cheekbone, "What's wrong, why are you crying"

Lance used the back of his hand to wipe away his stray tears, sniffing before forcing out a small laugh,

"Guess I'm still a little bit drunk"

And Keith's worry melted away into a fond smile as he rolled his eyes.

And Lance thought how desperately he wished that was true; that was still drunk, so that maybe he could forget the whole thing forever and ever.

 

Keith had convinced him to come back to bed, and Lance, reluctantly did, because no matter how shitty this situation was, he was still horribly hung over and desperate for a few more hours of sleep - at least then he could pass out for a while and forget about the whole thing for a few hours.

So when Keith had pulled him closer, his head on top of his heart, listening to the steady thud, thud, why did it make it so much more worse?

How could he listen to the heart of someone that loved someone like him.

He guessed that Keith didn't sleep much last night, again, his fault, as he quickly fell asleep, but Lance didn't even close his eyes, staring up at the ceiling, a million and one thoughts running through his head, the feeling of his stomach twisting and turning inside of him making it impossible to sleep.

This whole situation was completely fucked.   
And it was entirely his fault. He had told Keith that he was going to change things, he had promised.  
But he has absolutely no idea how the hell he was going to change this.


	10. Chapter 10

As it so seemed, Lance’s classes were miraculously cancelled for the next day. He’d woken in Keith’s arms, something he had desperately missed so much, but it felt so wrong and foreign, and for a second, he even blamed Keith for making him feel that way; before remembering it was in face, him, that had been the one that cheated, and passing the blame didn’t shift the weight over his heart any more.  
So when Keith slipped out of bed, and got himself ready for his own class, why did he hold a hand out and whisper,

“Stay?”

He couldn’t even look Keith in the eyes without feeling miserable, yet he didn’t want to be alone in this stupid dorm room all day.

“Wish I could,” Keith scoffed playfully, pulling his shoes on, “besides, with me gone, maybe you could work on that essay you were struggling with?”

Lance felt that weight on his heart press hard, almost suffocating him, seeping into his lungs and throat, threatening him with every breath.  
But he swallowed it down and gave a weak smile,

“Yeah, sure”

And after a quick goodbye, Keith pressing his lips into his hair lovingly, the door closed, and Lance was alone.

And for the first time since the whole fiasco, he cried.   
A proper chest heaving sob, slamming his face into his pillow to muffle his misery, heart completely broke in two – and it was his fault.

There was no way he could tell Keith, but he couldn’t lie to him, could he? How was he supposed to carry on like normal? What would happen in he did tell him? Would he believe him if he said it was just a drunken mistake?

Was it a drunken mistake?

Lance remembered the whole night pretty clearly. He remembered every detail, every second of it.  
The words he whispered to Nyma made his stomach churn, his body going cold, as if someone had shoved about a million ice cubes down his shirt.

He soon found he couldn’t even cry anymore, like his whole body had dried up inside of him, when he realised that he hadn’t even eaten for a day, and soon, at just the thought of food, his stomach was screaming at him.  
He didn’t particularly want to leave the room, in fear of seeing Nyma, or in case he bumped into Keith in the hallways and somehow the entire college knew – but he would starve to death or end up beating his head against a wall if he stayed in the room any longer, so he feet managed to take him to the cafeteria.

It all felt surreal, as if he was a ghost, walking through the corridors, people going on with their lives, not even acknowledging that Lance was feeling horrible. Of course, how were they supposed to know that his whole life had basically been torn apart?

Why would anyone other than him, care?

He made his way to the cafeteria, where a few other people were musing around on separate tables, and Lance decided on a coffee and sandwich.   
He really hated coffee; he had only really started drinking it after the New Year when they’d come back for the semester. 

That was where it had all gone horribly wrong – after New Year’s, after they’d all come back, was when Lance realised he didn’t really know what he was doing with his life, he wasn’t sure what he could do with a degree in Art Theory – there wasn’t much, but Lance knew he wasn’t good at anything else. 

But now wasn’t the time to think about himself, he was being selfish again. He was putting his own needs first again, because no matter how much it was going to hurt, he had to think about the fucked up situation in front of him first. The whole deal with Nyma and Keith.

And God, did it hurt.

He looked down at his phone that lay on the table as he picked at his sandwich, heart picking up speed.

It was so much easier then, back when Lance only knew Keith through a phone number, back when they would argue and Lance could just switch his phone off and suddenly Keith wasn’t there anymore – what he wouldn’t give for those days back, sometimes he thought it would be easier just to switch everything off. 

He had a quick thought, about texting Keith, telling him everything in one text, but he almost laughed out loud at himself. It was a stupid idea. A stupid dumb idea.

So instead he just sat, numbly eating the small crumbs of his food, staring down at his phone, not sure what he was even really waiting for, until he decided to retreat back to the dorms.

Coffee in one hand, phone in the other, he tiredly shuffled down the corridor when suddenly he came head to chest with someone.  
He blinked up to see a man, someone who he instantly recognised, someone that made his throat run dry when he stared back into his eyes.

It was Rolo.

“Hey Lance” he said in his slurred accent, and it made Lance feel a bit sick.

“Uh, hey. Rolo” the brown haired boy smiled weakly – back when Lance was dating Nyma, back when Lance would text Keith silly stuff, before they really knew each other, Lance had known about Rolo, about how Nyma would sneak off to be with him, how she would lie to Lance about it all – something Lance was mirroring right now.

The older man sniffed, looking up at down at the teenager, “What’s up?” He said calmly, putting Lance on edge slightly at how weirdly awkward this conversation was.

“Uh, yeah, I’m – I’m good” Lace managed to spit out, giving a small fake chuckle on the end, hoping that he would just move out of the way so that he could go back to his dorm and drown himself in his tears and bedsheets.

“How’s Keith?” he questioned, shifting his weight onto one hip, crossing his arms.

Rolo didn’t give a fuck about Lance, or Keith – he didn’t even know either of them that well. He had no idea what the hell he was doing.

“Fine” Lance said, maybe a little bit too harsh, before smiling again for good measure,

“Ah, good, good” Rolo trailed off, and Lance thought that perhaps they would say their goodbyes and be off on their merry fucking ways before he felt a fist against his chest, his whole body thrusting forward as Rolo pulled him by the chest, almost so their noses were touching,

“And I bet you know how Nyma is? Huh?” he whispered, lips curling into a smirk, a nasty one.

Lance felt his chest seize up, words completely stuck in his throat before he remembered to breath and he shook his head,

“It was nothing”

It sounded so weak and sad, and Rolo gave a gruff laugh, letting him go, the sudden shift made Lance topple back slightly before regaining his composure again.

“Whatever,” Rolo spat, “Just stay the fuck away” was what he said before walked past Lance, his shoulder bumping into his on his way.

Lance watched him walk away down the corridor and round the corner out of sight before returning to his own room.

He didn’t realise he had slammed the door so hard when he heard a voice,

“Jesus, Lance, are you okay?”

Shit.

Keith was standing on the far side of the room by the desk, and it looked like he was looking for a book or something, when he stood up to walk towards Lance.

The boy tried to swallow it down, tried to just let it roll off his body and ignore it, tried so hard to just, forget about it. 

But when Keith looked at him with those soft eyes, those loving eyes that made him weak at the knees; he couldn’t do any of it.

He let out a strangled sob, not noticing how Keith flinched in surprise, but when he felt his body against his, he suddenly melted away in his hold, his chest heaving, hiccupping between sobs, nose running and all.

A big, ugly cry. 

Somehow they had made it to the bed, and Lance was now sniffling tiny cries into the crook of Keiths neck, not noticing how he had drenched his shirt, because everything was so wrong, everything had gone so terribly, horribly wrong.

He didn’t deserve Keith’s comfort, or the small peppering of kisses he was receiving, because this was his fault, he had done all of this and he was the last person to deserve sympathy.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” Keith finally asked, his hand on Lances back, his tone was soft, almost transparent,

Lance shook his head, more tears welling up, he couldn’t. He didn’t know how.  
“Lance,” Keith soothed him, “it’s okay, you can tell me”

He looked up at his eyes, those beautiful eyes. He was never sure what colour they were; a mixture of blue and brown, and deep purple, those eyes that held a thousand stars, such kind loving eyes, eyes that wanted so much but only gave. And Lance had to look away, because he couldn’t bear to be the person that made those eyes cry.

“I can’t do the work” was what he said without thinking. It was only half true, but it was also a half lie.   
Another lie.

Keith sighed softly, leaning in closer, “Lance” he breathed, a fond tone in his voice, “if you were struggling you only had to come to me” he said, their foreheads were touching now, and Lance seemed to lean into the touch, desperate for that warmth.

“I am an English major you know” he laughed softly.

It was a bittersweet moment, if only this had happened months ago, back when essays were the bane of Lances life – when he should have spoken to Keith about it – but he had left it too late, and now it was too big of a problem, he couldn’t ignore it forever, but the way Keith smiled at him, like he was his whole life, he couldn’t help but feel an ache in his heart, a selfish idea creeping over him – never telling Keith would mean he could keep him for himself forever, and when his lips were on his, that familiar feeling swelling in his chest, feeling his own lips turn into a smile, he thought about how maybe keeping one secret to himself wasn’t that bad.

At least for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know if you guys are enjoying this and ill try and continue more often!!
> 
> also i listened to 'cant help falling in love' by haley reinhart (its incredible) whilst writing this - so id recommend listening to that if u want idk lol
> 
> thanks for reading :D


	11. Chapter 11

Lance counted the hours. It was something he found himself doing more often over the coming days, and he wished it was something therapeutic; to take his mind of things, but it was his anxiety creeping up on him, wrapping itself around him and engulfing his entire being.  
It was horrible.

He’d count the minutes that he lay awake, he’d also count the amount of breaths Keith would inhale and exhale. It’s what he did instead of sleeping, so instead, an hour before class, he’d pretend to wake up, get in the shower and be ready before Keith was pulling back the blanket.

It was unhealthy, but it was working.

He would watch the clock in class and silently count in his head instead of listening to whatever the professor was saying. His head was far too far away to be thinking about class at the moment, he couldn’t help it.

He could count how many chews of his food he took when Keith could take him by the hand and take him for dinner, instead of actually listening to Keiths stories, momentarily looking up to see his boyfriend ramble on about something, passion burning in his eyes and Lance felt guilty that he wasn’t paying attention at all. So he just smiled and nodded along with it.  
He had a timer inside his head he couldn’t shut up, and he was afraid that one day, that timer would become a bomb.

Maybe he was counting how many hours he had left with Keith? Maybe he was adding how many hours he had ruined for them, he wasn’t sure why, but it sure did feel like it.

And soon enough, it was like the timer just stopped inside his head all together.

“Hey Lance have you seen my jacket?” Keith called out one morning. It was a Sunday and Keith had persuaded Lance to go on a bowling date.

Neither of them were really the type, but when Keith had insisted, that he wanted to treat Lance and help him destress from all his school work, it made Lance’s stomach twist uncomfortably and he didn’t know how to say no.

“Uh, which one?” Lance replied, standing up from tying his shoes.

“The green one,” Keith said, rummaging through the drawers, “the one with the –“

“Oh,” Lance said as it clicked in his head, “the one with the alien patches, I think I actually wore that last at the party.” he spoke, his voice catching onto a laugh. But he stopped when he saw Keith, standing static in front of the drawers, hand gripping onto a fabric of some sort. 

Oh fuck.

“Keith?” Lance’s voice didn’t sound like his, trying to reach out to his boyfriend but it didn’t quite reach him.

Keith just turned where he stood, his eyes were fixated on the clothes in his hands, brows knitted together in confusion,

“Are – are these Nymas?” He asked in disbelief, and Lance shook his head maybe a little too quickly,

“No! Of course not Keith, why would I have –“ but he was cut off before he could even continue,

“Because her number is in the pocket, Lance.” 

His voice was so cold and hard, and it sounded like it was from underwater, like Lance was drowning in it as it swam around his head, pulling him down.

“Keith…” he tried to speak but there was nothing.

Keith looked up, his eyes were now welling up and he was biting on his bottom lip, hard.

“Don’t, Lance.” He spat and Lance felt himself flinch, his own tears now cascading down his face,

“I can explain, I swear.” Lance practically begged but Lance was shoving the sweater into his hands,

“Please, don’t.”

He sounded so wounded and sad, and it hurt Lance that he had made him sound like that, how could he have been so stupid to come home with her clothes – wait, no – how could he be so fucking idiotic to even do this in the first place.

“I, uh, I have to get outta here.” Keith said with a shaky breath, using the back of his hand to swipe at his eyes, pushing past Lance who stood silently with the sweater in his hands.

He reached the door, swinging it open, before he stopped in the doorway, and Lance prayed that maybe he was going to turn around and forgive him, to plant kisses into his neck and hold him close until they fell asleep.

But instead he turned his head, eyes fixated on the floor, hand gripped firmly onto the door handle and said with a sharp, icy voice,

“Oh and ask your girlfriend for my fucking jacket back.”

And with that he slammed the door, leaving Lance to crumple to the floor, throwing the clothes from his hands like they were burning hot, silent sobs wracking through his body.

Keith was gone, he knew about Nyma and his heart felt so empty.  
Keith was gone and left Lance with no time left to count.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaahhh sorry this took so long to update i lost motivation but hello hello yes im back :)
> 
> im sorry its short or if it seemed rush i promise these chapters will be longer and better (hopefully lol) so keep an eye out for that !!
> 
> hope you enjoyed this, im gonna start update a lot lot more and i hope you like them:)
> 
> let me know what you felt about this chapter and maybe leave some kudos if you havent already!!
> 
> anyways, love you all and have a good week!


	12. Chapter 12

The numbers seemed to burn into his brain as he gripped it tightly in his hands, crumpling it slightly with the was his fingers trembled slightly.  
He’d usually put it down to his anxieties, but Lance hadn’t managed to get a full hours sleep in over three days, and after living off instant coffee, it was ruining him.

Her phone number was written in such pretty, neat handwriting, her name signed below it in cursive hand, and it almost mesmerised Lance; the way she’d written it like she’d taken her time, making sure it looked pretty.

She’d slipped her number into the pants she gave him on purpose. She knew what she was doing, she had it all planned down to a T and was plotting all of it.

And she’d gotten her way.

Keith had left, he heard from Hunk that he was crushing at his, and hadn’t heard from him since.  
Lance didn’t go to any classes, he sent a half assed email to his professor explaining he’d come down with something and probably would be absent from any classes, and his professor, not really giving a shit, had just excepted it and didn’t contact Lance again.

The thing was, Lance really did feel sick. Every time he moved he felt his stomach swish and wobble inside of him, his bones felt weak and his head was pounding.  
Not to mention the agonising ache in his chest all the time.

He crushed the small scrap of paper in his hands, reducing it to nothing but a ball before letting it fall onto the floor and he watched it bounce momentarily before it lay still.  
He kicked it in anger, and it didn’t fly exactly far but it helped a little.

He flopped back onto the bed and let out a breath of air and silently wished that maybe his chest would finally seize up and not let any breath back in.  
But he couldn’t hold his breath forever, so he sucked in the oxygen and squeezed his eyes shut.

How had things gotten so fucked up so fast? He questioned himself for the billionth time.

The room was so silent he could hear his own heart beat in his chest, an eerie sound, and when he thought about Keith, he heard it speed up, feeling the blood pounding in his head and he held his breath again.

He had fucked up, big time, and had no idea how to fix this.

He didn’t know who to go to, when he had problems he usually would be caught out by Keith, but he was utterly lost.

He reached for his phone from his jeans, praying that maybe by miracle, Keith had text him, but his screen was blank, save for the wallpaper of the two of them laughing mid selfie and Lance quickly unlocked his phone, feeling that hurt bubbling up inside him again. He had one idea but he doubted it would work.

 **Lance:** hey man hows things?

 **Hunky:** uhhh

 **Hunky:** do u want me to sugar coat it or straight up tell u

 **Lance:** sugar coat it for me hunk

 **Hunky:** i wanna say that hes calmed down and wants to have a reasonable talk and its gonna be fine

 **Lance:** fuck man what am i gonna fucking do

 **Hunky:** look im not ur couples counsellor but i am ur best friend so heres my advice

 **Hunky:** give each other time u need some space and then when ur both ready u can figure this out

 **Hunky:** u wont be able to click ur fingers and its magically fixed

 **Hunky:** these things take time

 **Hunky:** and u guys are EXTREMELY stubborn so its gonna be a lot of work

 **Hunky:** but if u really care and love each other then u gotta be ready to make that amount of effort

 **Hunky:** so just take care of urself lance

 **Lance:** fuck hunk thanks 

**Lance:** i know ur studying engineering but damn man u ever thought about being a therapist lol

 **Hunky:** lol i think it just comes natural with my big heart ;)

 **Lance:** true

 **Lance:** how is he? is he okay though? i havent even been to any classes since :/

 **Hunky:** LANCE!! pls pls take care of urself like go get some food and take it easy!! go to classes u poo

 **Hunky:** and hes doing the same as u by the sounds of things

 **Hunky:** but dont worry im gonna drag him off my sofa if he doesnt get up tomorrow ;)

 **Lance:** thank you hunk 

**Hunky:** no problem bud just know im here for u :P

 **Lance:** love u bro xx

 **Hunky:** love u too man xx

 **Hunky:** oh and btw

 **Hunky:** i wasnt sugar coating when i said that everythings gonna be okay

 **Hunky:** bc everything is gonna be okay :)


	13. Chapter 13

Lance decided that if he wanted to change for the better and fix things, he’d have to take Hunk’s advice and get his shit together.  
He managed to resist any coffee, and eventually his body gave into a much needed sleep and he awoke early, dragging himself away from the bed to attend classes.  
He blearily made it through the week, getting occasional texts from Hunk to check up on him, and Lance would always ask how Keith was doing.

It was a Saturday night, almost a week since he’d last spoke to Keith and he found himself sitting up in bed by eight, feeling alone.  
He couldn’t exactly go see Hunk, and he couldn’t text Keith.

Or could he?

Maybe.

He opened up his texts, and he felt his heart flip over in his chest, the feeling of warmth spreading through him as he remembered what they used to be like, how he used to wait for hours for Keith to reply, how he fell head over heels in love with a complete stranger.  
And now they were back to square one. Keith was nothing but a stranger now.

Before he could stop himself, he was opening up a new text and hitting send.

 **Lance:** im sorry.

He stared at the screen as it stay static. He expected it to jump up at him and scream at what a fool he had been, but there was no one but Lance to remind himself of that.

He let his phone drop to his side on the bed and pulled open his laptop, trying to find some entertainment to keep his mind off things for a while. The screen was black before it sprung to life, the bright wallpaper of Keith flashing up.  
It was a candid that Lance had taken not long ago, they were at the pizza parlour and Keith was laughing into his slice, and when Lance realised how soft his laugh was, how his eyes lit up in the light and the curves of his lips, Lance just couldn’t not capture that moment.  
They were so happy back then.

Lance went to open a new tab on his laptop, but noticed that something was in the disk reader, and when he saw what it was, he felt that warmth in his chest again.

The Mothman Prophecies.

For some reason he found himself letting it load, whereas if Keith had been watching it, he would be complaining how he found it boring, but yet, here he was, watching the opening scene for the millionth time.  
He felt his lips pull into a smile and tears spring to his eyes. It was a dumb thing to be crying over mothman, but this felt like a sign, like things were gonna be okay and that if they could survive all the hours they spent watching this dumb movie, then they could survive anything. 

Lance was about halfway through the movie, when he felt a vibration by his leg, and when he looked down he realised it was his phone.  
He flipped it over and the screen had sprung to life and Lance felt all the organs in his body twist when he saw what was on there.

 **Keith <3:** i know. can we talk?

Lance swallowed hard, hitting pause on the movie to look at his phone. He felt like he did that year he met Keith, his heart beating erratically against his ribs, body pulsing with adrenaline.  
He fumbled to unlock his phone, then took a few deep breaths to calm himself.

 **Lance:** of course

 **Lance:** when do u wanna talk?

He sent, it felt too formal and his brain was running wild with possibilities but he shut his brain off for a second as he waiting for a reply.

 **Keith <3:** is tomorrow okay??

 **Lance:** yeah sure

 **Keith:** is it okay if i come over

 **Lance:** of course this place is urs too haha

Lance cursed. Maybe he shouldn’t have been too casual, they weren’t flirting or having friendly banter. They were arguing because Lance had slept with someone other than his boyfriend, but was surprised when he saw a text, almost immediately back,

 **Keith <3:** i miss you

 **Lance:** i miss you too

And maybe his mothman speculation was right after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so happy that youre all enjoying this story after i left it for so long :) thank you for your comments and kudos and even for reading this in the first place lol :')
> 
> but lmao keith n lance have major beef rip their relationship


	14. Chapter 14

The day rolls round and Lance is up with his best efforts of making the room and himself presentable.   
There’s a flurry of butterflies in his stomach and he feels rather sick. For the first time in a long time, him and Keith are going to sit down and sort their shit out.  
  
Lance hadn’t gotten much sleep last night. Instead, he’d been lay in the middle of the bed on his back, staring absently at the ceiling as his mind seemed to run laps around his body at a million miles an hour; too many thoughts at once.  
He couldn't tell if he wanted the night to go fast so he could get it over and done with, or if he wanted the hours to drag on as long as possible to he could avoid this confrontation.  
So instead of getting the goods night sleep that his body craved, he got a measly few hours before he was rolling out of bed to get ready for possibly the worst day of his life.  
  
There were two ways today could go down - either very well or very badly. And Lance really didn't want the latter, but there was this voice telling him in his head that whatever was already there, was gone, and there was absolutely no chance in ever restoring it.  
But there was also his heart telling him that he could fix this.  
  
If only Lance could just shut his brain up for a moment.  
  
Once he was finished shoving discarded clothes into the closet, he picked up his phone off the nightstand and unlocked it whilst taking in a shaky breath. There was a text from Keith.  
  
**Keith <3**: hey when do you want me to come over?  
  
**Lance** : nows cool if u want :)  
  
**Keith <3**: okay i’ll be like five mins  
  
**Lance** : sure thing see u soon :)  
  
**Keith <3**: k  
  
Lance swallowed thickly, almost like all the moisture in his mouth had evaporated over the few seconds of the conversation.  
Keith wasn't the greatest of texters; he took a million years to reply on some occasions, he was a stickler for grammar and he said things like “lolz” and “xD” still.  
But Keith had never been blunt. He’d never said ‘k’ before, and just that simple letter had Lance’s heart beating furiously against his chest, almost as if it were trying to escape.  
  
Five minutes. He had five minutes to plan what he wanted to say, how he wanted the conversation to happen, how he was supposed to explain himself and fix this entire situation, but as soon as he heard those two knocks against the door, all rational thoughts and feelings seemed to seep out of his brain, and he almost forgot how to walk to even answer the door.  
Eventually his mind caught up with him and he was striding towards the door to answer it.  
  
He took a deep breath to calm his beating heart, and opened the door.  
  
He wasn't sure what he was expecting, but it was Keith.  
It was the same Keith he would wake up to on lazy mornings, the same Keith he would lean in, pressing his lips against his, smiling as he did so, the same Keith he would at as they lay wrapped up in each other, in the heat of things, like everything in that second would disappear, foreheads touching, the same Keith he fell oh-so in love with.  
  
And now as Keith stood at his door, clad in his college hoodie and black trackies, backpack slung over his shoulder, hair tucked behind his ear with small bags formed under those beautiful eyes; he realised this was the Keith he had hurt.  
  
They both stood in silence for a while, before Keith cleared his throat awkwardly, and Lance seemed to be pulled from his thoughts as he stepped to the side, letting Keith make his way into the room.  
  
“Uh we can just sit on our bed right?” Lance finally said, gesturing to the bed as Keith let his backpack slink off his body and fall lightly to the floor,  
  
“Yeah,” Keith nodded quietly as he sat down, “the bed”  
  
Lance sat beside him, before realising this would probably be awkward, so he shuffled slightly until he was sat crossed legged in the middle, and Keith was sat at the top of the bed, leaning back until his spine was rested comfortably against the headboard.  
  
Silence.  
  
This was what Lance was expecting. He wasn't sure what the rules were here, who spoke first and what you’d even say.  
Small talk?  
Ask how he is?  
Get straight to the point and just burst into tears and beg for forgiveness?  
  
Lance defiantly was up for that last one.  
  
Eventually it was Keith who spoke first,  
  
“Lance”

It’s quiet, and Lance would have almost missed it if he hadn’t snapped his head up to watch Keith sit across him with his head, absently pulling at the sleeves of his hoodie in a means of distraction from any kind of eye contact.

Lance swallows another lump in his throat, letting it rest uncomfortably in his chest, “Keith”  
  
“Look,” Keith looks up this time, his eyes meeting Lance’s, “I’m not going to go round in circles here Lance” he says with a hint of authority in his voice, and Lance just purses his lips and nods,  
  
“I don’t know you did what you did, why or how it happened, but it happened” Keith says and Lance finds himself staring at his own sock instead of the boy in front of him,  
  
“It hurt me. It fucking hurt me,” Keith’s voice wobbles, but when Lance looks up, he hasn't lost any of his confidence yet, “and I bet it’s hurting you too.”  
  
It was. It was so hurting Lance too. Maybe not as much as it hurt Keith but it stung and burnt and crushed him, as if every pain imaginable was constantly conflicted against his body and soul.  
It fucking hurt.  
And that’s why it drove Lance so hard to want to fix this. He wanted to stop this hurt, for himself and especially for Keith.  
Keith Kogane; the boy he fell head over heels for that one year ago, the boy he promised to love and hold forever, only to throw it away into the bed of an ex girlfriend at a party.  
  
It gave Lance all the more reason to want to un-fuck this whole situation, only for them to come out stronger on the other end of it once it was all over.  
  
So when Keith quietly uttered,  
“I think it’s best we take a break.”  
  
Lance felt like that hope and motivation had been struck by a tidal wave, washing everything away in a path of destruction, crumbling anything remaining, leaving nothing but a soggy pile of nothing sitting with him.  
  
He saw it coming of course, there was the two paths he’d been expecting.  
The one he wanted and the one Keith clearly wanted.  
  
And he had no option to stand at the fork in the road and watch Keith take the road he wanted,  
  
“Okay,” Lance nodded, ducking his head down, “sure”  
  
They spoke about living arrangements, and since they had Easter break next week, and then the Summer, they’d quickly decided it would be best that until they find separate dorms that Keith would move in with Hunk and Lance was welcome to stay here.  
  
So Lance quietly watched Keith stuff his empty backpack with clothes and books and a various tangle of chargers.  
He even noticed him accidentally scooping up some of his own shirts, but he didn't care to say anything.  
  
So when Keith had just about everything he could fit in his bag, standing at the doorway, with the promise of _“we can make this work, Lance, some how, we will”_ on his lips from earlier, why did this feel like a forever goodbye?  
  
Keith, gave a kurt nod, before reaching for the handle and as quickly as he came, he was gone, leaving Lance in the wake of what had just coming.  
  
He could feel the tidal wave returning, filling him up, flooding his body, almost drowning him, bringing back all that broken hope back with him, which was now nothing but pain and hurt.  
  
So he cried.  
  
He sobbed into his pillow until his body grew weary and tired, and that night he fell asleep in his jeans, cold and alone, as his dying phone flashed up in the night, unseen with,  
  
  
**Keith <3**: im sorry.

  
**Keith <3**: im really fucking sorry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mama mia im back !! i really missed writing this and after like three months of being lazy i decided to come back to this :) i hope youre all still are here lol 
> 
> if you enjoyed this and someone out there is actually still reading this, let me know in a comment or kudos !!
> 
> thanks :)


	15. Chapter 15

Lance does his best to keep himself on track as best he can. He gets up, gets ready, goes to classes, does his best to do some homework, goes back to his room, sleeps, and repeats.  
  
It’s functional, barely, but it’s not really living.  
  
He’s just surviving, he may as well just be breathing with a beating heat since everything else seems meaningless.  
  
He’s gotten through the week, slowly, but it’s Easter Break, and Lance is sat up in the dorm room,listening to the voices disappearing down the hall as they leave for home with family and friends.  
  
He’s decided to stay here; home is too far away and in all honesty, he doesn’t think he’s brave enough to go and face that right now, so instead he’s stuck in his tiny box room with no one but the walls to talk to as the college seems to clear out rather quickly.  
He knows that Keith’ll probably go back to his brothers apartment for the break, and he hasn't even asked Hunk what his plans are currently, but he cant find the energy to care.  
  
He simply wants to just wallow in his own self pity by himself.   
  
An hour passes, and Lance can no longer hear the voices along the hallways, and he assumes he’s now basically alone, save for the few that have stayed behind to study or desperately trying to catch up on their work.  
  
Lance could probably benefit from taking a trip to the library and buckling down for a few hours but he feels like he’s been weighed down to his bed, unable to move, so he doesn’t resist, and instead he continues to lay there.  
  
Suddenly theres a small ping from his phone and out of curiosity, he reaches for it.  
  
**Keith** : hey man i know this is awkward but i think i left a text book at ur dorm  
  
Lance swallows thickly, trying to ignore Keith’s choice of words on “man” and “your dorm”, but replies anyway.  
  
**Lance** : hey no problem what text book is it??  
  
**Lance** : are u coming over for it or  
  
**Keith** : its my literature text book i think it was on the desk or smth  
  
**Lance** : yep got it :)   
  
**Lance** : so are u coming over?  
  
**Keith** : idk probs not but thanks i thought id lost it lol  
  
**Lance** : do u need it to study?  
  
**Keith** : well i was gunna but too late now  
  
**Lance** : :///  
  
**Lance** : what pages do u need

 **Lance** : i can like take pictures and send them over if u want?  
  
**Lance** : keith?  
  
**Keith** : shit sorry im back  
  
**Keith** : and yes omg that would be gr8 thanks  
  
**Lance** : lol np lemme know which ones u need  
  
**Keith** : can i text u later im just with shiro atm  
  
**Lance** : np :)  
  
**Lance** : how is he  
  
**Keith** : yh good thanks  
  
**Keith** : arent u going home?  
  
**Lance** : nah lol :p  
  
**Keith** : why not?  
  
**Lance** : got shit to do i guess

 **Keith** : yeah  
  
**Lance** : lol  
  
**Keith** : anyway thanks again ill probs txt u later if thats cool  
  
**Keith** : for the revision textbook  
  
**Lance** : oh yeah sure  
  
**Keith** : ok gtg  
  
**Lance** : cool see u later  
  
**Keith** : yeah   
  
**Lance** : have a good easter   
  
**Keith** : u 2  
  
**Lance** : :)  
  
And with that, Lance lets his phone drop onto the bed again, huffing in defeat, before suddenly his phone chimes again, and he quickly snatches it back up again to read,  
  
**Keith** : have a good easter lance. take care of yourself x

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have a lovely easter everyone !!
> 
> lol jk


	16. Chapter 16

There’s only one weekend left of break and Lance is confidently proud of himself that he’s managed to catch up with some work that needed doing, and even though he has time to relax now, he doesn’t want to admit to himself that maybe he did it because of that last text he got from Keith.  
  
Maybe.  
  
It’s a Friday, and where usually Lance would want to go out and hang out with some friends, he’s realised how he’s pretty much abandoned everyone for the sake of his own selfishness. But like a prayer, as he sits in his bed with his McDonalds meal laid out gloriously in front of him, his phone buzzes and he’s quick to snatch it up to read it,  
  
**Hunk:** breaking news: lance has fallen off the face of the earth, leaving his bestest buddy pretty lonely over their school break :/  
  
**Lance:** huuuuuuuuuuunk im sorry :( forgive me?  
  
**Hunk:** hm one one condition?  
  
**Lance:** ??  
  
**Hunk:** only if you have been taking CARE of yourself like i have told you to do so  
  
**Lance:** yes mom  
  
**Lance:** uh no lie tho i have been p good lately   
  
**Hunk:** really??  
  
**Hunk:** magical mom powers  
  
**Lance:** :’)  
  
**Hunk:** what are you up to tonight?  
  
**Lance:** drowning myself in mcnuggets   
  
Hunk: sounds inviting tbh  
  
**Hunk:** unless you want to adult with me and come to a club or something?  
  
**Lance:** a club?  
  
**Hunk:** yeah nothing fancy just one in town that i know  
  
**Lance:** when did u become so cool B)  
  
**Hunk:** when my FRIEND bailed on me   
  
**Lance:** wow guilt trip me much  
  
**Lance:** and are u implying that when we did hang out i was making u uncool?????  
  
**Lance:** smh rude  
  
**Hunk:** yeah its this place called faces   
  
**Hunk:** and lance you are the EPITOME of being cool dont you worry my love ;)  
  
**Lance:** good glad that ive still somehow got it ;)  
  
**Lance:** i heard from keith btw  
  
**Hunk:** vvvv cool mcdude  
  
**Hunk:** and what really  
  
**Lance:** yeah i spoke to him kinda

 **Lance:** well i sent over a picture of the pages from his study book he left behind lol  
  
**Hunk:** lance  
  
**Lance:** ik its nothing but like could it be something?  
  
**Hunk:** lance these things take time yanno  
  
**Lance:** ik ik  
  
**Hunk:** but im glad you're doing good lance  <3  
  
**Hunk:** really   
  
**Lance:** lol who could have known that studying for a week straight could cure all my issues lmao  
  
**Hunk:** okay but a night out might be a start  
  
**Lance:** okay fine you've convinced me  
  
**Hunk:** YAY :D  
  
**Lance:** smh just text me where and when   
  
**Lance:** i need to shower i smell like a raccoon thats been hit by a plane  
  
**Hunk:** dont go jamming my vibe dude go shower  >:(  
  
**Lance:** stinky lance hitting the club  
  
**Hunk:** D:  
  
**Lance:** rip  
  
**Lance:** okay brb talk later  
  
**Hunk:** okay later skater  
  
**Hunk:** love youuuuuuuu glad you're not dead  <3  
  
**Lance:** ugh love u 2 babe  
  
**Hunk:** ;)  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> stinky hoe 
> 
> if youre still reading this, leave a comment to let me know :) i really hope people still are haha lol 
> 
> *sweats nervously*
> 
> okay thanks broskowskis


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lmao hi again sorry for always forgetting about this hi hi hi

**Lance:** im outside

 **Lance:** text me u get here  
  
**Lance:** its cold as fuck hurry up bro  
  
**Hunk:** omw!  
  
**Lance:** ugh ur lucky i love u   
  
**Hunk:** :D  
  
Lance waits a total of ten minutes outside the booming club before he see’s Hunk turn a corner and when they catch eyes he’s frantically waving over at him, like an excitable puppy,  
  
“Hey man!” Hunk exclaims, doing a half jog over to his friend, “Shall we?” he says in an overly posh voice and Lance just playfully swats him on the arm as the two of them make their way into the building.  
  
As soon as they enter the room, it’s like being hit with a million and one things at once. There was music, people, alcohol and so much more. It reminded Lance of his first year experience at college and he cringed a little thinking of all those nights he’d be knocking back vimtos one after another just to impress people who didn’t matter now.  
  
Hunk says something to him, but the music is too loud to hear and when Hunk moves off, Lance just happily follows after him. They weave through crowds of people, sweaty and drunk, until they reach the bar and he can hear Hunk when he asks what he wants.   
Lance is only twenty but he knows by the looks of it, no one here is legal age of drinking and he’s not sure as to why of all people, Hunk knows about this weird back alley club, but he decides to play it safe and orders a coke – much to Hunk’s dismay, but Hunk orders himself a lemonade and they sip the slowly together whilst looking out at the scene ahead of them.  
  
“What are you thinking about?” Hunk leans in, half yelling into Lance’s ear, so close Lance can smell the cologne on his shirt, but he doesn’t answer.  
  
“If you’re thinking about Keith I’m gonna have to break your legs” Hunk states, taking another sip of his drink, playing with the lemon slice that’s perched on the rim of his glass.  
  
“Then break my legs and carry me home, Hunk” Lance deadpans back, looking sadly into his cola, because now he’s definitely thinking about Keith when he really didn’t want to.  
  
“You think it’ll be okay?” Lance finds himself asking when Hunk never replies, only emitting a small shrug from the other boy. What a fat load of advice that was.  
  
“I think,” Hunk starts, his voice carrying loudly, “I think you need to just be okay for you, you know?” He says, turning to face Lance now.  
  
Lance just blinks. What the hell is that supposed to mean?  
  
“I mean, you need to be okay for you, not for me or Keith or anyone, but be okay because it’s you.” Hunk turns away to face the crowd again, taking a long sip of his lemonade.  
  
If Lance hadn’t seen Hunk order his lemonade, he would have thought that there was something in his drink.  
  
Lance doesn’t bother replying, simply because he hasn’t got the words, and it’s too loud in here to keep yelling over the music.  
  
“So how’d you find out about this place?” Lance asks eventually, but Hunk obviously cant hear him.  
Lance sighs dramatically before having an idea. He pulls his phone out from his jacket and types out a quick message,  
  
**Lance:** i said howd u find out about here??   
  
He watches as Hunk pulls out his own phone and nods in understanding,  
  
**Hunk:** friend!!  
  
**Hunk:** u remember that kid from my freshers week the summer after high school?  
  
**Hunk:** matt  
  
**Lance:** matt gunderson??  
  
**Hunk:** no it was another matt  
  
**Hunk:** matt holt  
  
**Lance:** oh yh super smart kid  
  
**Hunk:** yh well his bfs uncle or something runs this club  
  
**Lance:** u good friends with matt then?  
  
**Hunk:** used to. his dad died last summer so he left but recently came back  
  
**Hunk:** idk why  
  
**Lance:** shit man i didnt know that :(  
  
**Hunk:** yh its a shitty situation  
  
**Lance:** he has a boyfriend?  
  
**Hunk:** yeah but he doesnt go to our college he lives dar out  
 **  
Hunk:** *far   
  
**Lance:** lol what are u the friggen secret keeper of this town lmaoo  
  
**Hunk:** yes its all exposition bby ;)  
  
**Lance:** sure sure :’)  
  
**Hunk:** my lemonade is finished!! rip  
  
**Lance:** ugh same w my coke  
  
**Hunk:** youre not having fun are you..  
  
**Lance:** nah man this is cool dw  
  
**Hunk:** you hate it here  
  
**Lance:** hunk hoestly its cool im fine lmoa  
  
**Lance:** hoestly? i mean honestly   
  
**Hunk:** we can go if u want? go get pizzas  
  
**Lance:** dude im fine i promise  
  
This time, the two look up at the same, eyes reaching one another’s, Hunks with a sympathetic look but Lance gives him a small smile, only to look down when his phone buzzes again.  
  
**Hunk:** ily bro  
  
**Lance:** god what was in ur lemonade lmao  
  
**Hunk:** bro lovin culture  
  
**Lance:** i think mine was pee pee culture because i gotta piss  
  
**Hunk:** lmao ew gross  
  
**Lance:** brb gonna empty my bodily fluids love u   
  
**Hunk:** pls flush yourself down the toilet  
  
**Lance:** rude  
  
Lance slips his phone back into his jacket and makes his way towards the toilet signs.   
Hunk is right. Before any of this is going to get any better between Keith and him, he needs things to be alright between himself and himself too. There’s a lot going on with Lance right now that even he doesn’t get, so it wouldn’t make sense to get someone else to deal with it too.   
Sometimes you gotta put one foot in front of the other and see what happens.  
  
And that’s exactly what happens when Lance reaches for the men’s room door only for it to quickly swing open and he collides with something hard and fast.  
  
“Fuck” Lance stumbles back, stunned slightly, rubbing his head, blinking before he looks up, and when he does, it’s like everything inside his body had fallen out of his ass.  
  
“Lance” Keith says softly, sounding just as shocked as Lance feels.  
  
Lance swallows a dry lump in his throat, “Keith” is all he manages to get out.  
  
They stand awkwardly there, just looking at one another as if they were both in disbelief. Lance feels as if he’s been glued to the floor because he can’t find it in him to move.  
  
“What are you doing here?” He blurts out eventually, watching Keith chew his bottom lip before it pops back out,  
  
“Uh, my brother, well – half-brother, kind of, it’s his uh, his uncle’s brother’s friend’s club or something, I don’t know” Keith stumbles around his words but when he finishes he just blinks at Lance silently.  
  
“Oh.” Is all Lance can say again. He had completely forgotten about Shiro in all of this.  
  
“It’s uh, it’s been good seeing you – you look great” Keith smiles softly and Lance feels like butter, like he’s melted on the spot, because everything seems so warm again.  
  
“Yeah you too” Lance mutters back, and it seems loud enough for Keith to hear because he nods, smiles, and just like that, he’s gone.  
Lance stands, frozen still, before his bladder protests and he quickly slinks into the bathroom.  
  
He pulls out his phone, to see a text from Hunk,  
  
**Hunk:** hey u doing a shit in there or something?? dont leave me out here man D:  
  
There’s a million and one thoughts in Lance’s head and he really needs to pee. So he pees, still gripping his phone tightly.  
  
Surely, Hunk wouldn’t have known that this club had something to do with Keith, right?  
Why would his best friend drag him out here in hope of getting himself out of his heartbroken fever just to give him the chance to run into his ex in the fucking men’s bathroom?  
  
The chances were slim; it was probably a huge coincidence, but yet, as he stands in the piss smelling bathroom whilst Katy Perry pounds out on the other side of the wall, all rational thinking seems to go down the urinal.  
There’s no time before Lance is typing out a quick text.  
  
**Lance:** you fucking knew he would be here.  
  
**Lance:**  and dont pretend like you dont know what im talking about  
  
**Hunk:** lance?  
  
**Lance:** keiths here. why would you do this to me?  
  
**Hunk:** lance buddy idk what the heck youre on about but where are you?  
  
**Hunk:** are you safe???  
  
**Hunk:** Lance  
  
**Lance:** matts boyfriend is keiths brother apparently.  
  
**Hunk:** woah what?? what was his name?? shiro???  
  
**Hunk:** dude what are the chances of that lmao  
  
**Lance:** youre the fucking worst, you know that??  
  
**Lance:** you KNEW this yet you just fucking took me here anyways.  
  
**Hunk:** wow lance slow down thats not true!  
  
**Lance:** fuck off dont lie to me  
  
**Lance:** i hate you and i hate keith you can fuck off being all buddy buddy with each other  
  
**Lance:** i dont fucking care anymore  
  
**Hunk:** where the fuck did this come from?? last you told me you were texting each other about fucking study revision books!! dont turn this on me man, you dont want that.  
  
**Hunk:** you need to come out here and calm down please  
  
**Lance:** you dont know what i need lmaooo  
  
**Hunk:** god lance, you are so fucking childish. grow up.  
  
**Lance:** just admit you set this up.   
  
**Lance:** please  
  
**Hunk:** i didnt  
  
**Hunk:** come back where are you?  
  
**Lance:** no just piss off i wanna be alone  
  
**Lance:** youre not gonna wanna hang out with me anyways now  
  
**Hunk:** you really think im gonna leave you here?  
  
**Hunk:** fuck me, im coming to get you where are you  
  
**Lance:** fuck  
  
**Lance:** in the guys bathroom having a breakdown like a bitch  
  
**Hunk:** hold up im on my way now  
  
The door creaks open and when Lance see’s Hunk tentatively poke his head round, it’s all it takes for Lance to break down in sobs.  
Hunk is holding him up because his legs feel like wet pasta and his heart is so heavy in his chest,  
  
“What the fuck is wrong with me?” Lance whispers into Hunk’s shirt, snot and tears bubbling into the soft fabric, dampening it slightly,  
  
Hunk presses a soft, loving, caring kiss to Lance’s head and holds him, “You need to find you again” he whispers back.  
  
And Lance just cries in the middle of the bad smelling bathroom of a dodgy club with his best friend’s arm wrapped around him.   
This isn’t how he pictured tonight going down.  
  
But Hunk’s advice echo’s in his mind. He needs to find himself first, before anything.  
And it all starts now.  



End file.
